On The Record

SO THIS POST HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY MONKEYS, EXCEPT THE ONLY TIME I CAN WATCH ANYTHING OTHER THAN CARTOONS IS WHEN THE MONKEYS ARE SLEEPING....
I would just like to go on the record as saying that NBC is officially stupid and off it's rocker.

I watch The Tonight Show with Jay Leno about 2 or 3 times a week. We tivo it and then watch it instead of all the other junk on tv most times. I'm all for someone retiring when they feel the need to move on to other things. Go for it. Have fun. However, replacing that person with a retarded, sorry excuse for a comic/entertainer is ridiculous.

There is no way in crap that I will ever watch The Tonight Show again if Conan O'Brien is put at the helm. I also know that any of the older "Johnny" watchers will definitely not be watching either. I'm not even that old! I think they are getting Conan to appeal to the younger viewers. (20 and 30 something's I guess) I'm only 29 and I find him retarded and no even remotely funny.

NBC, congratulations. First you cancel Chuck and now you bring in an idiot to do a show that could have continued to be great. Geez, even Jimmy Kimmel is better than Conan. You really are going down the tubes.

Horrible Pet Peeve of Toddlerhood

I think that I'm a weird mother, sure. I am very obsessed with my kids speech. It grates on my nerves when I try to talk to them and they don't use sentences or ask questions correctly. If I hear one kid say "WANT JUICE!", you will hear me say, "I'm sorry, it that a question? Try to ask again in the form of a question." I know, it seems a little much to ask from a child (ages 5, 4 & 1), but I don't think so. Now we're to the point where I just say, "Can I...." and they can go from there. Yes, even the 1 year old...


Here comes my other pet peeve that goes along with this.... Oobi. Sesame Street. Any other cartoon that my children watch that they have characters that are retarded and don't know how to speak. I'm not really smart at all, which most of you can probably tell. I don't know what the different parts of speech are called. I know what a verb and a noun are, thanks to the 30th Anniversary remake of Schoolhouse Rock, but I didn't pay close attention to the other parts of speech and I don't really break things down to figure it out. I just know what sounds right when it is spoken.


Oobi - Just an attrocity to the english language. I know that they are just hands pretending to be characters (which is a stupid theory in and of itself), but can't they form complete sentences at all? What do they think they are teaching children? Come on people.


Sesame Street - I know that people will just freak about this, but there are only a few characters that drive me up the wall. Obviously Cookie Monster is annoying and then the other one is that stupid Baby Bear character. The speech bothers me, but what's more annoying is the lisp or say things incorrectly. TH's into S's, things like that. I know that there are some people that have a lisp for actual physical reasons. Like their mouth or teeth aren't formed right so they have a lisp. Then there are the kids that don't get any speech therapy because of teachers in their schools that don't pay attention or are too busy or whatever (I'm not judging, I'm just stating an observation). Then the final one that I refuse to be is the one where the parents think that it's cute when the kids are little and they never work with the kid while they are young and they then grow up with the lisp or saying words incorrectly.

Okay. Venting over. I've probably offended half of my readers, but oh well. When people say to me, "Wow! How old is your daughter?", they are in shock when I tell them she's not even two yet and is speaking in complete sentences and asking questions like "What happens if I go down the hole?" and you can actually understand her. It's just because I'm anal and don't have any friends so I have to talk to my kids all day and they drive me crazy when they don't speak correctly or give me commands like "Mommy! Snack!" Oh no you did NOT just tell me what to do....

Spring Into Bugs

My daughter is in love with caterpillars. It doesn't help that they are crawling all over the back side of our house. Of course, to add fuel to her burning fire of love of these creatures, this week her preschool class is studying insects.

Monday night I let her catch four of them to take into class to show everyone. Last night I looked at the jar and one was already starting to make a cocoon. It was, I must admit, very entertaining and educational. Anyway, we took them into class and the teacher was very excited because that was what they were going to talk about today. (Perfect luck!)

After class, we brought them back home in the car. We had to stop and get lunch and then when we got home we brought them back in the house. I looked this afternoon and to my shock and disgust, there are only two in the jar! The plastic wrap (that was 4-ply) had a slightly larger hole than I remember poking in it.... Much larger... Like the size of a 5 year old's finger.....

Now herein lies the dilemma.... Where might these two caterpillars be? In the classroom? In my car?!?!?!?! IN MY KITCHEN?!?!?!??!?!?!??! I don't know what to do first, move or buy a new car?

Allowance

Okay, so I'm curious to know what people think about this:

- At what age do you begin to give your child an allowance?

- What do you give them an allowance for?
- Do they have to do chores in return for a small pittance?
- Do they get it just for being alive?

- What amount do you give your child?

- When do they get a raise?


"What on earth are you worrying about this for?" you ask?
Last night my five year old asked if she could have some money to buy her own toys. (She has a problem with destroying her things and I told her that those things were gifts and that she needs to treat them better. Her thought was that if she bought the toys herself, then she can destroy or "play" with them however she wants to.) I told her that I would have to discuss it with her father and we would see if she could start getting an allowance. I told her we would start with her doing some chores and that she would get a quarter a week. Not sure if that's enough.... I know that she will/should work for it. You don't get anything for free. Anywhere. I've looked... I guess when she has her birthday we can add 25 cents to her total amount... I don't know. I'm making this up as I go along. As with many aspects of parenting....

What do you think?

New Fangled Meme

I love this one. Monkey Girl came up with a meme that I can participate in giving my current state of funk-ed-ness.

Six Things That Are Causing My Burnout
(Up until a week or so ago, I wasn't too burned out. Just my normal amount of burnout. I guess here are the reasons....)

1. Husband being gone on a business trip for 2 weeks and I have full parental responsibilities 24/7. Not used to it. Getting through it. Still don't like it completely...

2. Children that don't say 'please' and 'thank you'. I know that as a stay at home parent, it's my job to do things for my children and basically wait on them hand and foot (until they get bigger and we can play role reversal periodically...), but if you know how to speak the words 'please' and 'thank you', you better start using them or I extend the right to ignore you.

3. Dirty dishes. Don't like 'em. Never have. Never will.

4. Allergies. Can't breathe. Pretty sure I have a sinus infection too, but I'm too tired to go to the doctor and don't want to take all three kids in there with me...

5. Lack of sleep. Don't sleep well when hubby's not home. I would rather stay up watch nothing on tv than sleep and be well rested for the next day's fun.

6. Bad drivers. I have to drive around alot for different kid-centered activities. People who pull out in front of you and cross in front of you to get into the other lane and totally cut you off just because they don't want to wait another two seconds and go once you pass. Also, if you are going to pull out in front of me, make sure you know what the speed limit is and that your piece of junk car can get up to speed without making me have to slam on my brakes. Just because I have them, doesn't mean I want to jam my foot down on them every two seconds... Have some respect, eh?


Monkey Girl's was definitely more poignant than mine, but I felt the need to vent and didn't want to come up with anything else to post today. Sorry. This is as good as it gets for today. :)

Welcome...

If you are looking for the meme that I did, sorry. It's on my private blog. There were some very personal things on the meme that I said that would identify my location and I just wasn't comfortable with that. I'm sure you understand....

In the meantime, I will tell you that the monkeys are fine. They are as crazy as ever. Keeping me very busy. (Not that that's anything new...)

Monkey 1 is loving spring and all the new little creatures that are out and about. "MOM! You know I love little bugs and stuff!" She somehow thinks that due to her love of all creatures great and small, that means that I will let her bring them into my house... WRONG....

Monkey 2 is allergic to spring. Bloody noses every other day. Oh, and conjunctivitis too. That's fun... Still loves his computer games. His favorite website is sproutonline.com. Keeps him busy for hours, no, not really hours, unless I need him to stay busy for hours... Usually just a while or so. I'm not that bad of a mother...

Monkey 3 is still the cutest thing on the block. Her new favorite thing is while we are walking down the aisles of the grocery store, she will call out "Hi" to everyone. I'm talking EVERYONE. We went to the grocery store tonight and in the 45 minutes I was there I literally got 10 people telling me how adorable she was. Almost enough to make someone sick, eh? :)

Well, I better get going. We have a field trip to some sad little pony farm tomorrow. Who knew that preschoolers take field trips, but they do. AND I get to take the other monkeys with me. Me, three monkeys and a bunch of farm animals. I wonder if I can find some prozac anywhere around here.....

Miley's Mess

Okay. I have to weigh in here. I will say that it's because I have a daughter that likes Miley, but really it's because I have an opinion and nobody around me wants to hear it so I will throw it out in the blogosphere. (Although even LESS people read my blog than actually SEE me on a daily basis...)

ANYWAY, first of all. She shouldn't have posed for the pictures. She should have known (based on Annie Leibovitz' previous work) what she was getting into. I don't care how smart you are, how many parents are there (or "handlers") once you get in that situation and everyone is there to take your picture and work with you, you will inevitably feel a sense of responsibility and peer pressure to do what the photographer wants. You will get caught up in the moment. Not neccessarily EVERYONE will do this, there are people who are very strong and will know where to draw the line and when to stop. Others won't. I think that part of her problem was that she was already walking on the line with the clothes that she wears. Tiny tanktops and midriff showing shirts. They said that she was wearing something underneath that sheet. If that were the case, then she should not only be ashamed of the picture but of the clothes that she was wearing underneath.

Secondly, I heard something this morning on the Today Show that I was very mad about. They were discussing this (because, of course, this is news you know...) and they said that "She's a 15 year old girl! How many 15 year old girls haven't made mistakes?" I would like to submit that there are TONS of 15 year old girls that have not made mistakes! TONS AND TONS. The only reason why this society is going to crap so fast is because everyone thinks that it's already SO bad, so why not join in? I know that I'm not 15 years old, but I do know a few and they are the sweetest girls in the world. They are knowledgeable, they are strong and most importantly, they are steadfast in their values and beliefs. Some things that are severely lacking in today's children.

When it all comes down to it, it's all about the parents. If you raise your children with sub-standard values then you will have sub-standard children. RAISE THE BAR! EXPECT BETTER! TEACH THEM TRUTH AND VALUES! Quit saying "Oh well, it's easier than having to fight them on every little thing." If you don't teach them and fight for what's right now, the world just got one more of them on it's leash.

April Fool's Day - a little late

Monkey 1 is just learning about different holidays that we don't really celebrate, you just hear other people talking about. You know, St. Patrick's Day, Groundhog Day, April Fool's Day...

The morning of April 1st she came into our room and hid on the far side of the bed so that Daddy couldn't see her when he came out of the bathroom. When he did she jumped up and yelled "April Fool's!" She woke up the baby... Joke's on me...

As Daddy was leaving for work he said, "She locked the bathroom door and she's not even in there. You will have to find the key and unlock it." "Why?" I asked. "It was another April Fool's joke. You better keep an eye on her. She doesn't get her own jokes..."

Later that morning... "Mom! I have to go to the bathroom and I can't get in the bathroom because I locked the door!" Who's the joke on now? :þ

Getting the Monkeys Ready to Go ANYWHERE

"Monkey 1, get your shoes on."
"Monkey 2, go get your socks."
"No, the red socks on the couch. Not your sweatshirt."
"Monkey 3, go get your shoes."
"Monkey 1, go get me the brush."
"Monkey 2, go get your shoes."
"Monkey 2, put the book down and get your shoes."
"Monkey 2, your shoes."
"Monkey 1, quit hiding behind the couch and bring me the brush."
"Monkey 1, put your hands down, I can't brush your hair with your hands over your head."
"Monkey 3, where is your shirt?"
"Monkey 1, go find Monkey 3's shirt. It's in the kitchen."
"Monkey 3, go get your shoes."
"Where are Monkey 3's socks?"
"Monkey 2, why are you standing on your head? You can't do a sommersault with shoes on."
"Monkey 1 go and get me the hair band over by the phone in the kitchen."
"Monkey 3, your shoes. They are pink. The ones you get out of the closet 5 times a day when we AREN'T going anywhere."
"No Monkey 1! Not the PHONE. The hair band NEXT to the phone. Put the book down and pay attention."
"Okay, I'm leaving. Get in the car or I'll leave you here."
"Monkey 2, don't try to carry Monkey 3. She's almost as big as you are!"
"Monkey 3, don't pull the petals off our flowers. There's only one. I don't want it naked the day after it blooms!"
"Get in your seats."
"Monkey 2, leave the seatbelt alone. Don't pull it all the way out like that."
"Monkey 3, stop kicking. Sit still so I can buckle you."
"Monkey 2, move that book out of the way so I can buckle you."
"Ouch, you hit me in the head with that book! Be careful next time!"

"Does anyone know where we were going?"

Almost a Month?

Wow! One would think that nothing has been happening. In reality... oh wait. Not much has been happening.

- Potty-training a 4 year old son. (It's about as bad as you can imagine. But we're making progress.)
- 18 month old got in her first molar before even her first eye-teeth.
- Husband on business trip for a week while I fly solo.
- Spring break from Pre-Kindergarten. (Yeah, that's almost a non-event.)
- I think I've lost some weight due to being too tired to make any food.
- House still a mess. (That will end around 2025.)
- 5-year old daughter now obsessed with Miley Cyrus. (Must limit t.v. watching... must.)
- 18 month old daughter now able to go into Nursery class at church for 2 hours. (Nice, free, babysitting.)
- Still haven't sold beautiful 100 year old Victorian. (Any takers yet?)
- Dinner's starting to burn behind me. (It's okay. No one but me will eat it anyway. Bread and cheese, children?)

La La La La La La, La La La La La....

Oh My Gosh! I totally forgot about this.... Today we went to get the new Barbie movie. Of course we had to go out in the pouring rain to Target to get this thing on the very first day that it is released because we just HAD to.... Sitting right next to the Barbie movie was this

Yes! Season One of the Smurfs is finally out! I showed it to the little monkey's and little Maddie monkey says, "Mom, I'm not sure I will like that one." Well too bad, this one's for Mommy! :)

What Every Mother Needs

I might be alone in this, but I have found that clear packing tape is the biggest lifesaver where my little ones are concerned. I can't even tell you how many books I have repaired with it. My kids love their books. The baby is beyond board books now because I can fix almost anything. But we do still have some of the board books that come apart at the binding and I have saved them for another couple months by just a cleverly placed strip.

It's just like duct tape, only it looks better.

Do you have something you can't live without?

10 Things I've Learned from Childbirth & Children

1. If you think that when you are pregnant you are being taken over by some other life force and that it will just end when you deliver said "life force", you are sweetly mistaken. It is just the beginning of the fun.

2. When you are in labor and you think that you are just going to explode (you really won't) but you should project all your energy into pushing. Of course if you are in the car and on your way to the hospital or you are walking down the hall to your delivery room, don't push yet. Wait till the doctor/midwife/nurse/janitor gets down there to catch the "ball".

3. Sleep when the baby sleeps. I know that everyone says this and you probably won't because you will think, "Hey, I'm only a little tired. I can handle it!" Just SLEEP! If you are only having one child then you might be okay, but if you are planning on having more than one, then this will be the only time that you will be able to sleep.

4. Say goodbye to uninterrupted sleep for the next 7-8 years. Even if you get the kid to sleep through the night, you will still get woken up in the morning far before you are ready to wake up.

5. Sometimes you see those sweet little perfect children who follow and obey their parents every waking moment, at least in public when you see them. Those children don't really exist. They are a figment of your imagination and once they step foot into their own houses, they become exactly like your children. (To make me feel better, I like to imagine that they are actually WORSE than mine.)

6. If you think that you have a husband that you have to tell things to over and over again and that he doesn't listen... this is hereditary and your children will be the same way.

7. Be ready to laugh more than you thought possible. They are the funniest little creatures in the world. Even when they aren't trying to make you laugh, you should laugh at them anyway. It will make you feel better.

8. Babies with hair look cuter than bald babies. :) I'm just saying...

9. Childproof your house now. And continue to do it. And keep vigilant. Stay at least 5 steps ahead of them because it will save you alot of time, tears and hospital copays.

10. Pray for patience every morning. Then when it runs out at 7:15am, pray again, and again, and again.

11. (Hey, this is my blog, I can have 11 if I want!) The final thing is to just try and have fun. It won't always be, but if you try, you are more likely to succeed than if you don't try at all. You can't change it by complaining about it, so suck it up and deal with it!

What Do You Think?

So, I'm curious. What do people think is an appropriate age to have your child stop using a sippy cup, a pacifier, a bottle, a crib...

I know that probably only 5 people read this blog (and not with much regularity, at that) but I'm curious...

Sippy Cup - I personally think 4 is the cut off. That being said, my middle child has issues with his grip and holding onto things and just within the last 3 months has been able to use utensils (he just turned 4 in January). We are just starting with the real cup and he is a dribbler. And an impatient dribbler at that. If he spills on himself, he starts to cry.

Pacifier - I think this is the reason why I decided to do this post. I saw a child in the grocery store that was no less than 4 and had a pacifier in her mouth. Trying to spout out full sentences with a piece of silicone and plastic stuck in her mouth. It was ridiculous. Now, I have children. They are not the best in the behavior department even sometimes. But I wouldn't let them keep a pacifier to let me have a few minutes of peace and quiet. That's what their rooms are for. For me, if the kid is younger than 2 years old, I guess it's okay to have one. My oldest was the ideal situation. She had it in her bed until 18 months but at 12 months I took it away completely during the day. My 17 month old, littlest monkey, has one pretty much whenever she wants it. I've become more relaxed on it in my old age. But I'm starting to get rid of it more and more every day. One of these days, I'm cutting a hole in that puppy...

Bottle - This is another one that I have seen a child that is older than I personally thought appropriate and still had a bottle. Older by ALOT! I am a total stickler on this one. When the kid switches over from formula to whole milk at one year, the bottle is gone. Completely. No question. I won't point and stare unless the kid is older than two, but personally, one is the oldest for me. Sorry.

What do you think? Do you care? Do you just wait for the kid to want to move on? I'm not even going to go into the potty-training realm... I'm having my own issues with that one...

Homeschooling Looking Better

Seriously. Did you see the latest rampage by a crazy psycho person on the news? It makes my heart break. Oh wait, not that one, the other one. I know that it was a college campus, but I'm so sick of it! When are they going to start taking the term "open campus" to mean a negative thing and making everything closed campus and start securing our schools as well as they secure our airports? The domestic morons are just as bad as the international terrorists.
But then again, I can homeschool until my monkeys are 25, but then they will someday have to go out into the craziness and take their chances with everyone else.

Sorry to be the wet blanket of the morning. It's just hard when the first thing I hear this morning was about all the horrific things going on in the world. Good thing there's a "power off" button...

What's This World Coming To?

I now have a tv in the kitchen so when I'm making food or cleaning up , I can watch it and just see the nightly news or the morning news. Most of the time the kids are off and playing and I can actually watch without worrying about them being exposed to anything too bad. Except tonight... stabbings, killings, robberies... I know that it's not just in this area and that alot of places are like this, but still... It's really sad. I have to shuttle them out of the room or mute it or go to the cooking channel real quick. Now, I'm not going to shelter them completely forever, but they are all three 5 years old and under... There's no need to make them neurotic before there's a need to be.

I do wonder whether it's really that bad... There uhave always been bad things happening, but it seemed the media didn't really report on such things. Then there was the change to sensational journalism and let's see who's opening headlines could sound worse. If the tops three stories are about murder, abuse or Britney, turn it off right now. You will be better off.

Shopping Adventures

Going to the grocery store with three kids 5 and under: INSANE

NOT getting the car cart because they were bad last time: EVEN CRAZIER

Letting them take in their McDonald's Happy Meal toys to keep them occupied: DELUSIONAL

Buying cupcakes and telling them they could have them when we get home if they're good: INSPIRED

All the kids being too tired to remember that we had cupcakes and all ended up taking naps: HEAVENLY

Six cupcakes that are now hidden for mommy's secret enjoyment: PRICELESS!

Echoes

Littlest Monkey (age 16.5 months) has decided that she wants the world to hear her. She also has found that if you go into a partially furnished room that has high ceilings, you might be able to hear something cool if you yell "Ahhhhhh!" Today in the entryway at school she looked up at the ceiling and I could literally hear the gears grinding in her head saying, "This might work out to my advantage... Let's give it a try." All of a sudden, "Ahhhh!!!!" Yes, the echo was very cool. The other parents looking at me thinking my children are nuts, not so much.

I've Given Up...

At least for today. I have a migraine and don't feel like keeping up with the resolutions... Although we did go for an hour and a half long walk this morning because we had some beautiful weather. The kids are starting to get used to being in a neighborhood that we can actually walk around in.

But the eating well thing is out the window since I don't feel like eating anything. I just had ramen noodles for lunch... That's healthy... And there will be no projects on my list for completion today because I think I will take a nap... Depending on whether or not I can finish this post...

Out.

New Year's Resolutions?

Okay, so I haven't really written out a New Year's resolution since the 10th grade. I think back then it was something along the lines of "Don't put up with stupid friends that want to walk all over you. Put your foot down and get a spine." It still took a few years for that one to take hold, but oh well.....

This year I have decided that I'm going to have 2 resolutions. The first one is the same as about 98% of the female population of this country: lose weight. My goal is somewhere around my high school weight, but I will make due with my pre-baby weight. (That would be my FIRST baby.) I'm going to save the numbers for when I actually get there. I don't want to get anyone's hopes up. :) I also decided that the best way to accomplish this goal is to not eat so much. I don't listen to when I'm full. I completely ignore it until I clean my plate. (Bad habit from when I was younger...) Also, I'm not going to deprive myself of stuff I like. Like right now, we just had a birthday for Monkey #2 yesterday and I have Devil's Food Chocolate cake in the kitchen. I'm not going to NOT eat it. I will just eat a little. And then stop. Also, if I have the cake, I won't eat as much dinner or have an afternoon snack. These are all simple things, yet I have ignored them for the last 6 years or so.

Number 2 resolution is that I will, in the morning, come up with one thing that I want to accomplish for the day and it WILL be finished by the time I go to bed. I know that doesn't sound like that big a deal, but when you are a complete procrastinator like me and have three little kids that you use as an excuse for getting any and every thing done, it's a big deal.

I think that's it. I'll let you know how it goes. I figure if I write them down, them I'm accountable and someone may come back in a few months and say, "How's that New Year's resolution thing going?" I would hate to say, "Duh, I forgot about them..." :)